Byakuya Has a Secret
by leah-Byafan
Summary: Byakuya has a secret and he will do almost everything to keep it hidden. Major Crack. Oneshot.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or its characters, Tite Kubo does. I am simply writing this for my own amusement.**

**Please be warned this is extreme random crack.**

Byakuya glanced to his left then to his right. Moving silently down the hall he approached the door. By all accounts it was a regular door. Smooth and even finishing over a single brown pane. Accented by a gold knob with small gentle carvings around the keyhole, a regular in the Kuchiki mansion. No, nothing made this particular door stand out, but it was this door that Byakuya was interested in.

Reaching into his dark green kimono he produced a small gold key. Glancing around again he quickly pushed the key in the lock and turned it. With barely any sound the great leader of the Kuchiki clan slipped inside, closing the door behind him with a click.

Breathing a sigh of relief he crossed the seemingly empty room to the far wall. Sliding his slender fingers over the wall he located what he was looking for: a small hair line crack, no longer then an inch. Tilting his finger he gently pushed upon the crack with a fingernail.

A small exceedingly rare smile crossed his handsome features as he heard a small click. Turning his head he beheld a small opening forming in the adjoining wall.

Byakuya Kuchiki was a proud man, a stoic man, and a man that would not be caught dead crawling through a small hole on his hands and knees. But at that moment he was doing just that, a sight that would have had Renji laughing for weeks if he had been standing in that oh so special seemingly insignificant room.

Brushing the dust off his perfectly tailored kimono and summoning a globe of light, he stood and surveyed his surroundings.

He stood in a dark and dusty hall that was cluttered in riches that hadn't seen the light of day in centuries. He paid no heed to the priceless dust covered items as he crossed the hall, his footprints the only things showing his passage.

Reaching the other end of the hall he picked up a small bag, the insides clinked in value, and stuffed it in his clothing. Raising his hand to the wall, he again found the correct pressure point and entered the now open door into a long narrow tunnel.

With his light illuminating his way he walked the long dark tunnel. Its floor comprised mostly of rough uneven stone that soon began to fade to noting fancier then simple dirt. Glancing around uneasily Byakuya resisted the urge to run, breaking into a quick trot instead. He had traveled this tunnel only once before and that had not eased his fear of being trapped in small places.

Finally with what seemed like ages, he reached the end. Pushing a hand to the wooden door he carefully opened it a crack. Peering out his eyes met nothing but darkness.

Opening the door farther he stepped through. Sighing in relief he found the dust covered stairs to be unmarked. Resisting the urge to sneeze he carefully climbed up, while being aware of how old and rickety they were. At the top he found himself standing in front of another door, this one more well kept. Knocking sharply he waited in silence. After five minutes passed, he impatiently knocked again, this time a little harder. Hearing sounds on the other side he quickly straightened his clothes.

Squinting slightly as brightness met his dark accustomed eyes he was just able to make out the face of a little elderly man.

"Master Kuchiki, it has been sometime. Please come in."

Byakuya quickly and gratefully left the darkness emerging into a well lit little room.

"How can I help you today?" said the little man.

Byakuya glared at him, "Need I say it?"

"Of course not, my apologies." he looked around "Um, beg your pardon sir, but did you by chance bring-"

"Yes." Byakuya snapped cutting of the little man. He reached into his clothing and tossed the small bag he had gathered up earlier into the old mans eager hands.

"Come this way." said the little man grinning wide and showing off his missing teeth. Byakuya inwardly winced.

The great Kuchiki followed the old man out of the room into another. This one sported a large salon like chair, which Byakuya gingerly sat in.

Moving about the room the little man gathered up a white sheet, and a few tools. All the while aware of Byakuya's hawk like stare. Moving over to the seated noble he draped the white sheet around and over his shoulders. Shifting his aged fingers he gently began prying at the nobles soft hair.

"How long will it take to make another?" asked Byakuya.

"A few hours. I always have one ready. It just has to be sized and glued on properly."

Byakuya sighed and leaned back in the chair, wincing as the little man began to remove the nobles wig.

It is a well known fact that all the Kuchiki men, past and present, had perfect hair. However it was an unknown (except for a old, well paid family of no noble bearing) that those men also suffered from the affliction known as male pattern balding, and Byakuya was no acceptation. For as long as the records stood the head Kuchiki's had gone to a small family that made a business of selling wigs and other hair products. With the passing of years technology had progressed and with the help of a certain 12th division captain, Byakuya had held back his indisputable fate, using a potion to keep his real hair as long as possible. But time had caught up with the handsome captain and he now was reduced to hiding under a wig, an undeniably well made one, but still a wig nonetheless.

Byakuya sighed again and wondered why the fates were so cruel.

* * *

**Again just some random crack I came up with this night. I dearly love Byakuya and always love a chance to tease him. He is fairly well known for his long silky black locks so the idea of him loosing his hair really cracked me up for some reason. I also should apologies for my bad spelling and grammar, it has never been my strongest point.**

**Don't forget to review and please no flames, just let me have my fun. ^^**


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